Issue of Consumption; Loving God on Purpose

  A causal approach to my relationship with God leaves me comfortable, once I have settled into comfort a self righteousness arises, and all manner of spiritual apathy. The first warning to know I have wandered from a correct position is a loss of spiritual appetite. As God is inexhaustibly pleasurable, encountering Him ravishes the heart and leaves us longing for more. To encounter Him is to live in want, a constant hunger for more. We crave food naturally, the longing to consume isn't bad, we were made to consume, but the object of consumption determines the outcome of our fruit, eternity, calling and families.

  One of the first things God addressed in my life once I decided to live for Him was the object (or objects) of my consumption. He made me keenly aware of what my heart was attached to due to my intentionally indulgence. I had a habit of calling things I was consumed with my ministry, or saying I could love God in everything. (Which is absolutely true) But in my case the Holy Spirit highlighted that my motives for all of my activities and entertainment was based in a desire to find enjoyment apart from Him. I had made my life so busy doing things in the name of Him that I didn't commune with Him in an ever growing depth. I found that I could no longer justify hours of fun filled events saying "I am ministering to the people here" when I truly just wanted to have a good time. And in the end I never actually spoke about Jesus, making character just another form of works. There is one gospel, the gospel of Jesus, my good character isn't even close to the gospel. My character cannot change hearts, the heart maker needs introduction to truly impact people. We live the gospel so that our testimony is valid. What God was calling me into was a season of radical re-orientation of the heart. To truly live for "one thing," and abolish every other lover that was hindering true love. The pain of withdrawing from worldly relationships and events and focusing in on Jesus is hard, but the reward is so good. I long to live Kingdom minded and not culturally or even Christian minded.

 What we consume becomes evident by our likes and dislikes. Consumption of Jesus always leads to love for God and others. When we fill up on Him continually He consumes us, we can't stop talking about Him, daydreaming about Him and finding joy in the relationship with Him. It's the endless fountain of eating and drinking pleasure forever. We will converse and pursue that which we love. What I have come to realize is that my desires will eventually lead me into continual consumption of something, but what will it be? And what I desire will overrun my life, so the issue of becoming filled with the Spirit is critical because I will be filled with something.

"It is not a matter of time but desire, you will make time for what you want to do."
 - David Wilkerson

 The spiritual disciplines are not necessarily reading the Bible and praying, however it is extremely important to do this daily, it is working every day to keep our first love in first place. It is fighting to consume Him in everything so to love Him more. A spiritual discipline to me means there is a bedrock in my heart that keeps me coming back to loving Jesus, and I will fight to keep it that way.

  I have found this fight to keep loving and keeping my heart tender towards Him requires that I intentionally encounter Him on a daily basis. A determination that no matter what I will take even a few moments out of my day to sit before Him and ask for Him to light the fire again. To ask Him to burn in me, consuming me. I am finding that more and more it is less of a casual relationship and more of a diligent searching continually. As in any relationship, to keep the fire of loving burning and the communication lines open requires constant work. Coming back to Him may seem awkward to have that first conversation again, but He so longs for it.