My Testimony

I grew up in the church, my whole life was based around christian culture. Whenever someone would ask what my testimony was, all I could really answer was "Well I just kind of grew up into it" not knowing that the very words coming out of my mouth was the very inditment against my salvation. You cannot get into the kingdom based on the following: Coatails of your parents, Attending relgious events, Moral standards or even listining to high theological doctrines or the greatest worship from a distant revival. It is though a living breathing love relationship with Jesus Christ. He and He alone is the gateway to salvation, and a true encounter with Him produces fruit and growth.

In the summer of 2010 God began working in my heart (The time that I can look back and say "that was God," not that He wasn't already, just when I noticed breakthrough beginning to happen.) He began pricking me with questions in my heart, He had already unsettled my heart as far as shallow Christianity not being what I wanted, I just didn't know what I was looking for. The questions that started rising inside were as follows:

1. Is this really the Christian life? Living like the world but secluded from the world, as far as being consumed by sports, career, future, money, friendships and just having a good time.

2. How does anyone live like Paul the apostle? And why?

3. I had all manner of confusion regarding God's love, in His judgements, in His allowance of wickedness, in His allowing my own heart to keep causing grief to myself and others.

The intial breakthrough of the Spirit into my dead heart came when I was listening to a message and the speaker was railing on how we claim Jesus is so precious to us yet we feel nothing when His precious name is used as an explitive in the entertainment we appreciate and endorse. I began weeping and repenting in my comcast truck as God was unlocking my heart. For the first time I started to realize that the Christian life I am called to is absolute love for Jesus and that everything EVERYTHING must come into obediance under His Lordship. It was as if I was in the wizard of oz, everything was black and white then suddenly full color.

The last year and a half (As of 2/12) have been a whirlwind of discovering God, discovering issues in my heart and learning to partner with God in the removal of sin and selfishness. God has taught me to make covenants with Him, to seek Him in prayer (as if my life depends on it). For the first time I feel alive, I feel engaged in my Spirit, I know from personal encounter that God does love me and that I am free from shame to love Him. 

If to be radical is to dis-engage from the lusts of this world to feel more alive in Christ, I aspire to be the most radical man ever.

I am learning that every pleasure this world offers isn't bad in itself, but the love for it and the consumption of it takes away from the true life inside. I only feel alive when my spirit is connected and God is active in my thoughts and meditation. Sports, the media and entertainment dull the love of God in my life. Spiritual disciplines are managing all the secondary items so they remain secondary. My heart was created to endulge in one preoccupation - love for Jesus.

Since this amazing breakthrough in my heart I have experianced enourmous breakthrough in the following areas and this is my true testimony: Freedom from lust, freedom from anger, freedom from anxiety, freedom from depression, increased love, increased patience, increase in my marriage, overall attitude change, freedom from boredom. And the chains just keep falling off, not that I have achieved perfection, but so much change has taken place and I can only attribute it to God working in me. CHRIST IN ME THE HOPE OF GLORY!!!

Prior to this encounter with Jesus I couldn't really tell you if I was "saved" I would like to think so but there was no fruit, I was consumed with everything else, I had no appetite for Jesus, and if I had no appetite for Him here what makes me think I would be fit for heaven? Now He consumes everything all day.

I despartely long for my heart to be like Davids, a cup that overrunneth, and from that overflow my ministry would come forth. Ministering to others is designed to come from a place of passion, of connectivity and pure love. Ministry is a partnership with Holy Spirit, if I don't meet with Him all day, I am inncapable of knowing what He is trying to do. Ministry unto the Lord is the first form I want in my life. Ministry is always second to loving Christ with all my heart, soul, mind and strength.

Encounter with Jesus equals transformation, salvation is a daily encounter.

I pray you also will be set free by the love of Christ to proclaim the witness of His greatness!!!