Mourning for our Bridegroom

     Recently I have had a groaning within my soul in ways I have not ever experienced. As I continue to encounter my own weakness, the injustice on the earth and most of all the physical absence of the One my soul loves, my internal chemistry has been altered. I have found myself daydreaming about His nature and eternal attributes, fascinated with His Word and longing for nearness. I feel as though I have become a stranger within this frame; the internal reality deep within me has taken control of my mind and made me live as one in a dream. His presence has invaded every aspect of my thought life and I find myself yearning for something indescribable. I have entered into this strange paradox of joy with weeping, happiness and suffering, contentment with a starving desire for something beyond my control. I can only hope that I have begun to encounter exactly what Jesus was describing in
Matthew 9:15

And Jesus said to them, “Can the friends of the bridegroom mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them? But the days will come when the bridegroom will be taken away from them, and then they will fast."

   I have seen a few couples in which the husband is in the military and he is sent on deployment, I have become fascinated with this reality as I see the truths between Christ and His Bride. The absence of a woman's husband has disrupted her existence. She is no longer emotionally stable, each day that passes is a painful encounter with a persistant reality; "He's not here!" There is no consolation for her torment, she can only find short lived activities to occupy her mind, but once the excitement of an activity ceases, the wound is back. This is not the kind of wound that clots and scars over, it is a wound that never heals, it becomes infected and shoots pain with every movement of the body. This wound demands attention and does not subside, each moment of every day it throbs in agony. The bride is able to talk to her husband occasionally, which is joyous and much sought after, but it does nothing to cease the pain the next day, in fact it only serves as a reminder of the pressing truth; "He's not here!" The loneliness of the bride invites darkness as the light of her life is far away. Her brief encounters with him brings a much need light and joy to keep the darkness at bay, but the darkness persists and will not be eradicated until his return.

   The husband may be able to fulfill some of his roles from a distance such as providing for the family, giving leadership advice and sending affirmation but his bride truly desires his embrace, to feel his presence and to rest under his protection. The bride is not longing for a partner or companion but her completion, only by his side does her soul encounter freedom and joy. 

   While her husband is delayed the bride feels vulnerable, exposed and weak. His absence tears at her assurance of his affection and her faith is tested with the flames of uncertainty. Her life has become a false reality and the duties she has been left to manage are overwhelming. She does not have the strength to carry on, yet hope drives her, it compels her to excel and she finds his absence unbearable, but one thing strengthens her inner being, hope. This hope has become the anchor in her soul; one day he shall return and all the wrongs will be made right, every wound will be healed and every tear wiped away. The core of her existence will find rest within his presence. Even so, come Lord Jesus.