Constantly Returning to our First Love

  As I continue this journey of fighting to abide, contending to live in communion with God, I am finding that love for God must be evaluated and prioritized daily. I find that I must live in constant tension with the things around me to maintain the burning heart that continually says yes to God. True love is a condition of the heart, not actions, not poetic language. It is the desire inside that motivates our thoughts, actions, emotions and the priorities of life. What we love can be found in our daydreams, our spending, where our time goes and what we do points others to.

  The way we operate and organize our lifestyle is just the tell of what dwells inside. Billy Graham made this statement "Give me five minutes with a persons checkbook and I will tell you where their heart is." Jesus says "Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." So, even as simple as the topic of our conversation reveals what enthralls us. The consistent action or manner of speech points to the condition of the heart. I in no way feel that individual events reveal hearts, as we all fall, but time reveals as the heart continually makes its way through the flesh.

  When God first woke my heart to love I longed to fill my time talking to Him and of Him. What I found is that I no longer felt like I fit in with people as I longed to converse on the things of God. Not that other people are anything less than me, I just knew what God was calling me to in the context of relationship. His love for me didn't increase because I was filling up on Him, but His presence and my awareness of His Spirit increased. We cannot do anything that increases or decreases His love for us. Contending for Him to have preeminence in our lives positions us to receive Him in greater measure.

  We motivate the people we contact whether we think so or not. Our interactions with others impacts what they like and how they feel. What we inspire others into is a good test of what we are inspired into. We are either a friend of the bridegroom, leading people to love Christ, or we are a friend of the world, pointing people to love the things of this world. Everyone lives with a degree of influence and we need to recognize that we are directing our circles into something, what will it be?

  Loving God for me has put my flesh on edge, and I continually have to fight my flesh to increase the love relationship. (Not that I do it in perfection but I have decided to go hard after it.) The first things God called me to was chastising my heart to align my loves rightly. I had to withdraw from things that God was revealing as other lovers (idols) in my life. (For me it was sports, television, and entertainment based events) It was painful but I learned obedience through what I suffered. And I am now finding that this is a journey that will not be completed this side of glory. Daily I choose what will receive the primary affections of my heart. Here are some evaluations I use on myself.

Will I live to dwell in Him?
Will He be the supplement to my fun filled lifestyle?
Do I want to love Him in all things, or just what I choose?
Will my love for Jesus be drown out by a lazy approach?
Can I destroy idols as God reveals them?

  The primary way to increase love for Jesus is through prayer. Asking Him to fill us with love. (Romans 5:5) Absent of prayer we are legalistic and grow in religious pride. I am not trying to obtain a code of conduct, but trying with all my might to choose things that speak love to God. We know what He loves, when we push into those things it speaks love to Him.

Be encouraged, His desire is to have you all to Himself. It is a desire that is stronger than death, stronger than your weakness and sin. It's a war of inches, fight for the inches in your life, and never stop fighting.